This article is about more effectively communicating love and caring.
Most of us will be with family or friends for the holidays throughout the year. These happy times can be spoiled by our preconceived notions and past experiences of difficulties with loved ones we are not normally with.
One way of avoiding potential difficulties is by more effectively communicating our love and caring with family members and friends as described in the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.
Gary states that we communicate love in five ways:
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
There is the possibility of not communicating love effectively because our love languages are different. Suppose in a couple that person A feels loved when receiving Quality Time from person B. Person B feels loved when receiving Words of Affirmation or Gifts.
The challenge is that we communicate with others in the way we receive love. So person A gives Quality Time to B, and person B gives Words of Affirmation or Gifts to A. And each does not fully feel or appreciate what is being given!
A couple who have been together a long time each feel they completely love the other. On the other hand they don’t feel completely loved by the other. The reason is their love languages are not the same and they only communicate their love to the other through their own love language.
So how do you figure out how to communicate more in the ways that others feel love!
- Recall a few times when you have felt love coming from another and remember how they were communicating. Identify which of the five ways have most positive impact on you.
- Tell another person how you feel loved.
- Ask another person how they feel loved – tell them about the five ways of communicating love and ask which have the most impact on them.
- Communicate in ways that have most positive impact on the other person.
- If you want more guidance, read the book. Gary lists many ways to communicate each of the five languages. He also includes a self description section to help each person define their own more completely.
This works with children and friends, too!